Loved Child

Today I told my mom that God has given me the gift of faith because I have this inner hope that never dies, and I know it’s from Jesus but I can’t explain it.  She said, I know and I’m not surprised….I have a story to tell you.” I always knew my mother had trouble getting pregnant, but I never heard the depth of the struggles of her pregnancy until tonight.  First of all, she prayed to have a baby for 10 years….10 years! And I have trouble saying a Novena for 9 consecutive days.  When she finally got pregnant the doctors told her “it won’t last; there’s no way this baby will live”.  In my mind I would have been petrified, but she had the confidence of the virgin Mary that God had purposely placed a child in her womb. Her perseverance in prayer gave her a hope that surpassed most human understanding.  Then the doctors tell her that her uterus is not the normal upside down triangle shape that most women have, but it looks more like a heart with a septum down the middle.  Okay and?  Well if she does grow she will have to position herself very awkwardly so all her organs turn out normally, and there is a possibility of miscarriage and preterm labor.  Really God?  I could imagine myself saying, “Am I supposed to wake up everyday for 9 months hoping I can carry this child, birth her, and if she is alive that she comes out normal?”  How she wasn’t mad at God I have no clue, but she said she never prayed more in her whole life then she did during those 9 months.  She prayed for me to be a fighter and that I would turn out normal/healthy.  She prayed for me to have unshakeable faith and that I would do something great in this world.  And then, her worst nightmare happened.  She slipped and fell on her back at 6 months.  She was rushed to the emergency room and again they told her, “she is fine…not exactly what we expected but she is okay.  I hope you make it to term.  I don’t know how she has survived in the position that she is in considering the shape of your uterus.”  Then the unspeakable happened….she made it to term and delivered.  As they prepared to do a cesarean section she mentally prepared herself to handle whatever God had given her, whether that was a deformed child, healthy child, etc.  They placed a beautiful healthy baby girl in her arms and she cried tears of Joy, tears of gratitude.  “It’s a miracle” the doctor said, “I honestly didn’t think she would make it.”  “Yea, I knew she would because God had a plan”, my mom said.  I cried after hearing this story; tears of gratitude capturing the story of a loved child.  I say a loved child because in today’s world we so often forget our value and worth, we so often forget just how unconditionally loved we are by God.  But HE, God himself not only made me as a gift, but asked them through prayer and hope, and great suffering to love me anyway.  To love me without the facts and science that pointed towards death.  He asked them to pray so that he could create a hope in them that they couldn’t foster themselves.  It is only when we choose a radical love that demands prayer without doubt, hope without evidence, and love in the midst of suffering that we encounter Christ in way that leads to an unexplainable freedom.  Unfortunately, so many times we are swayed by the evil one in the world choosing to corrupt all that is good and fruitful in God’s plan for our wellbeing.  He takes the beauty of a child yet to be born and proposes death as the only means to birthing a plentiful life for oneself.  Yet if we could see that it is only by dying of oneself through suffering that Christ is able to birth life in us.  It is then and only then that we find true Joy which far outlasts the temporary pseudo-happiness that evil proposes.  If you are reading this and your heart is beating, know you are a loved child of God.  Thank your mother for choosing to suffer the pains of pregnancy and labor so you, life itself, could be birthed into this world.  And remember just how special and important you are to God.  He has a great plan for you and loved you even to the point of death on a cross.  Choose life today.  Choose Love.  And more importantly…choose to love yourself so that God may be glorified.